Monday, April 2, 2012

M (episode III)

M makes a welcome return to the house this week. To be honest, I had become somewhat tired of seeing his little dark drugged-out face every time I visited the centre. Unwilling and/or unable to make a decision to return, he had begun to enjoy the attention of exhortations from well-meaning people to leave the street, to put down the plastic bottle of thinner that seemed a semi-permanent attachment to his mouth. M - the hardened little rebel child: exploited and wilfully reckless, with tears this time he implored for one last chance to return to the house of which, he said, he had fond memories. It would be for his third time.

Within a week of arrival however, he had bolted for a third time and I find myself once again racing into the centre of town in the middle of the night to look for him, and (with the help of two friends) find him - alone again, begging.

After every confrontation, after every small disciplinary issue he makes an attempt to run away. After so many years on the street, he is his own master and accustomed to setting his own rules. For him (like so many with no responsibilities or attachments), the way to deal with confrontation is to escape: physically or narcotically. Why confront complicated things like emotions when one can simply run away?

round we go, again
These moments of crisis come like waves, like moments of anger: he zones out and makes a beeline for the perimeter wall to make his escape (he scaled the banana tree last time – no mean feat for a little guy). It’s as if a switch is flicked somewhere deep inside his psyche, or as if invisible hands are pulling him away. And of course, they are.

I have been working with him closely these last few days, explaining how it is a fight, a battle, to stay. I am not sure how much he really understands or takes in, due to the damage done by years of drug abuse, but after one such conversation recently I found him sobbing quietly on his bed, with his head in his pillow. “I just want to see my mum”, he said in a muffled, desperate voice. 
And there he is: the child reveals himself. Not the rebel, not the joker, not even the victim - M, his mother’s son. God willing, he will stay until they are both ready to be reunited.


Anonymous said...

I am glad ( with tears again) that he is back. My children and I have been praying for his protection and for him to come back for almost one year, God is faithful!
Did you notice that by yours, and the team, daily, unceasing work in helping M, to understand the battle that he is in, M is smoothing down bit by bit, and quickly I dare say, because for him to be able to face the pain, cry for the right reason (to be missing his mum), understanding what is inside himself, followed by confessing it out, is a gigantic steep! Plus an unique opportunity to ministry healing to his heart in prayer, closing an eternal cicle given by God in ordinary circunstances such as this. M Mission accomplished so far!!!

Please, receive and send my love to all.
From the boys older sister, who is always waiting for the next chapter, may that be good or bad.

PS- forgive me to be blogging in your blog, feel comfortable not to post it, no hard feelings, only tears rolling in the deep!thanks!

Luke said...

Haha! (or rsrs) - feel free to set up a blog which competes... ;)

I think your comments (this and every time) are perceptive, sensitive and Godly, F!

Thanks (as always) for reading.


Anonymous said...

Third chance? When I think of how many times I have been forgiven, by friends, family and my Lord... Matt 18.21... I thank God for you and so, one day, will M.


Anonymous said...

Thanks Luke for the encouragement, you are lovely, the fact is that I would never be able to perform all your special effects, plus I have to much in my plate already. Have a great day you and all there F.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful are long suffering for sure as you all reach out to the boys and they too, as they crave the love, attention of their parents. Heart breaking.....and the fight goes on but God has the victory and we'll be praying for M along with you in these early days.

Shary said...

I'm very happy that He is back! Thank u brother for your Investment :)

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