Saturday, November 2, 2013

To be a distraction

So I took the afternoon off and went with him to the hospital. By the description he gave over the telephone, the injury to his foot had (for all intents and purposes) caused it to swell to elephantine proportions. Needless to say, it hadn’t, but I went with him to the hospital anyway, since the car at rehab had no driver.

Wesley calls every couple of days. I always answer - day or night. Sometimes he is crying, sometimes he just wants to chew the fat, but sometimes I sense that he is not calling merely to talk. It’s a bit like João and the pool all over again (swimming - no matter how cold the weather - whenever he felt the urge to use crack). A distraction from the feelings of sadness/loneliness/addiction/regret.

I sometimes think about the kind of people that would take me in if I were ill. It happened recently, and although they were kind, I knew I was imposing. I would like to be the kind of person of whom someone thinks in times of need and perhaps (even) of whom it is said “yes, I can go to him. He’s welcoming, won’t have conditions — won’t have judgement.”  Alas, I fear I still remain far from that.

But for how long?

And if I am - at the very least - merely a distraction, then I am more than happy to be just that. To show attention to the details and love, better.

I read James 1:27, but it’s not just that. Wesley knows me better than most. He knows when I get upset or angry (he’s an expert at that!) and I am equally frank with him with regard to my own struggles. Through sharing our respective weaknesses, there is no illusion of superiority or judgmentalism. And it seems often that I am just as far back on the road as him. But the important thing was always to be moving onward.


Anonymous said...

This really touched us...m/d

We are at Giovanni's Pizzeria in Colletorto.....Michele and family send their love to you

Luke said...

Fantastic. My love to them too!

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